One of the first things my son was taught in pre-school was the magic word – please. Second was thank you. Slowly, more words were added to this list – pardon, excuse me, etc. Time and again, he was urged to use these ‘magic words’ and these helped a lot in making him the courteous and polite child that he is.

It is such a shame that most people on the streets have missed out on learning these magic words at their mother’s knee. It would have made them much better people, I am sure.

Barking seems to be the answer to most queries – my sister-in-law, a foodie with massive interest in eating healthy, almost got her head bitten off when she asked the lady at the local potti kadai (small store) where she sourced her eggs from. Arms akimbo, the lady belligerently got in her face and asked her why in hell she wanted to know and was told to eff off!

Too much anger over a simple question regarding provenance, I thought.

Then there was the time I asked this guy on a bike, who was busy chatting on his mobile phone while blocking my gate completely. I was polite to a fault. Asked him if he could please move his bike out of the way as it was blocking our way in and out of the house. To which he rudely asked, “you coming out now or what? No, no? Then what is your problem?”

Once again, I tried.

“If you could just move your bike to the side then I needn’t walk around you when I do get out of the house. So can you?”

He muttered curses and didn’t even bother to lower his voice as he told his friend on the phone, “Wait, da, there’s this broad here that wants me to move my bike away from her gate as I am standing in her way.”

I ask you, doesn’t it seem absurd in the extreme, to be sworn at when all I did was to politely ask someone not to park in front of my gate and block my driveway, a not unnatural request, surely?

I can write pages about the rudeness of the auto drivers so I will just satisfy myself with narrating one incident. I had hailed an auto one mid-day from a popular shopping area in Chennai and the guy asked Rs 50 more than normal and as I didn’t like his attitude, I said ‘no thanks’ and moved away.

He called me back and bargained for a lesser amount. As I had paid Rs X just two days previously for the same journey, I wasn’t prepared to spend Rs 20 more for no reason so I said ‘no’. Then he called me again and agreed to take me. So I got in. The bugger took the turning before mine from the main connecting road, stopped the vehicle a kilometre from my house and told me to get down and walk it! Said it will teach b!%&hes like me a much-needed lesson. Not satisfied with that, he called the jobless louts wandering around the area and asked them for their opinion!

Now I have travelled by auto in this city for years and there have been many a time when some auto driver disagreed with the money after arriving at the destination and asked for some 10-20 rupees extra. But this level of rudeness was a first! (And hopefully, last!)

I wonder why there are so many disgruntled people about. And no, let us not blame it on rising prices and lack of amenities etc. Petrol needn’t be free for some guy to not be caustic to the person that asks to move his bike out of the way. Innocent banter regarding where she gets her goods need not be an invitation for a shopkeeper to rain abuse on her customer.

So, people, what gives?

With this week, I have officially crossed my stay in the city, whenever I had visited in the past few years during the summer. As this isn’t a visit but a proper move, I have been trying to do more to fit into the Chennai life. One of that was to travel by bus.

Now my children are much more used to travelling by bus than by taxi. Living in small town England, we took the bus everywhere locally and the trains, if we were going into London. Taxis were for special occasions or for unavoidable journeys. But the past two months have seen us travel mostly by taxis or auto rickshaws and even the younger one was finding it odd. She’d point to the bus many times and express an interest to travel by it. My son was adamant that he will go to school by the school bus. But the school buses are one thing and the public transports, totally another, so I balked at the thought of taking them.

But last Saturday, the son and I took the plunge.

He had to go to school and as it was just the two of us, I decided to try the bus. I had told him that we will wait for 10 minutes and if our bus didn’t arrive by then, we’ll take an auto. And blow me if a bus didn’t screech in that very minute! Gobsmacked, we boarded the vehicle and found seats straightaway.

It took us the same time to reach home as it would have by auto, as the route is fairly straight forward and the son has expressed interest in repeating it regularly from now on.

Even as I took the bus by myself a few days later, I have to admit to a feeling of uneasiness. The last time I had travelled by bus was when I was in college, almost 13 years back. And I hated it! College girls are magnets for creeps and there were many that used to get their rocks off, rubbing against my butt. Never brave and cursed with an over-active imagination, I’d just move away, instead of standing up for myself. On the days I had seats and used to consider myself safe, the retards usually found another way – by unzipping themselves and showing their worth for my viewing pleasure.

Taking the bus brought back those memories and the entire journey was spent trying to tamp down the old fears from coming back. There was this guy who must have been younger than me by years and had CREEP written across his forehead. As the bus wasn’t crowded, he couldn’t lean into me, much as he liked to. I was quite glad when I got a seat farther away from him and sat down with a big sigh of relief.

I was also glad that I was travelling solo. Which brought to my mind my biggest worry – what would I do if someone misbehaves with me when I am travelling with my children? How do I protect us? My instinct is to move away so as to not attract unwanted attention, lest it escalates. But what message does that send to my children about standing up for themselves?

Tell me, Reader, what would you do?

It is so not funny how much we Indians allow an inanimate thing to disrupt our lives. Mobile phones, which were just rearing their pretty heads a decade back when I left the country, have now taken over completely. The other day I saw this ayah watering the flowers in the corporation park doing so whilst chatting animatedly on her cell phone – I was gobsmacked!

But this isn’t about how much the mobile phones have permeated our lives – this is about how they have literally taken over them; how they take precedence over the person in front of you; how they disrupt every occurrence in your life, and how you’ve let it do so, gladly. Hell, with that excellent trick called ‘call waiting’, even that person you are chatting with, the one for whom you unceremoniously interrupted whatever you were doing before, is now thrown over for the one that calls after!

In the past month, I saw everything from important discussions, workshops, casual conversations and even movie shows giving way to the mellifluous tones of this teensy gadget.  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever, EVER think I will miss the annoying Orange ads played in cinema halls in England before the start of every movie, urging the patrons to turn their cell phones off.

So why does everyone do this? Carry the mobile phone on their person like it is an extra appendage and with nary an apology, pick it up and start nattering, even if it interrupted an engaging conversation? Aren’t we sending out the subtle message that the phone call is more important than the person in front of us?

Here’s a revolutionary thought – What will happen if we ignore the call the next time it interrupts us when we are helping the children with their homework or when we are watching ’180′ at the cinema?

Go on, give it a shot – if you can take it a step further, be brave and put it on silent for a while. If the world doesn’t come crashing about your ears, then you can declare the experiment a grand success. Deal?