As promised, here’s my first guest blogger, uber writer Kiran Manral, with a plea to the Indian restaurants to up their child-friendliness stakes.
Hotel Ramee Guestline, Juhu
When Lavanya invited me to be a guest blogger on her newly revamped blog, the theme she told me, was “child friendly”. Write on anything child friendly, she said. Yars, yars, I nodded sagely, and scampered to googlebaba to figure out what I could write about that was child friendly related and something parents across the globe could identify with.
And then this happened over the weekend. Friends of a friend lost their son when he fell to death from the sixth floor of a restaurant. While the parents were dining with friends.
What is scary is that the parents didnt think of looking for their son until they had finished their meal. When I read of such incidents, I think that I err on the side of paranoia, and that is a good thing to be these days. I have the deepest sympathies for the parents, but this incident is a symptom of the malaise that affects parents in restaurants here in India. Let the kids wander off once they’re done with their meal so that the parents can eat in peace.
Which also comes about because of the total dearth of restaurants with child friendly facilities here in India. For a family with small children here, the only dining options are fast food places like McDonald’s, Pizza Hut, or Papa John’s. Or else restaurants like the ones with a wild dining or a theme like a Village Festival etc, to keep the kids entertained and busy.
No restaurant, except for Mall playzone/food court combos, have spaces within the restaurant premises which have supervised playing facilities, adaptations of the main courses to fit children’s appetites and discerning palates. High chairs for infants and toddlers, children’s toilet seats are something most restaurants already have in place. Basically, restaurants are telling us dont bring your kids along. Which is why the maids are dragged to restaurants to wait uncomfortably out in lobby areas, walking and entertaining the small babies. Something that gets my goat, but well, to each his own.
What we need here are child friendly restaurants which welcome kids, have a dedicated employee or two to supervise the children in a safe hygienic section of the restaurant, with adequate toys, games etc to keep the children busy.
Apart from this, a child friendly restaurant will offer colouring kits, jigsaw puzzles, toys, and such like to keep children occupied. And will even have a designated supervised spot on the premises with a small play area, with a play pen, rubber flooring, slides and the like to let the parents drop their kids off, and eat a meal unhurriedly. If only restaurants in India understood that the demise of the joint family does mean that many young parents forgo dining out because of the difficulty in keeping young children entertained and out of the plates of the other diners in the restaurant.
And the attitude of the staff! At a lunch with friends at Moti Mahal, in Bandra, the staff and the maitre d’ made it very clear to us that we were obliged to finish our meal quickly and leave the premises because of the rather vociferous fun our two boys were upto, albeit confined to our table. Needless to say, I have never gone back since. On the other hand, when the child was bored at a family lunch at Mainland China, the waiters were quick to engage him in a quick chat, and the maitre d dug out a random toy to keep him busy and entertained. Guess where we have returned umpteen times?
Are any restauranteers reading this want to try this concept? I guarantee the restaurant will be double booked from day one.
Article by Kiran Manral
Uber writer Kiran Manral
Mom, freelance writer, India Helps charity founder, blogger, voracious reader and a “good egg”, has been writing since she could hold her pencil on her own. She has over 20 years of experience writing for some of the top Indian publications.
Kiran blogs at Thirty Six & Counting and Karmic Kids.
I was wondering whether Moti Mahal would make an appearance
You know that was what I thought as well when I read that news story. My deepest condolences to the family but I would not let Ayaan out of my sight at a restaurant. This would as much for his safety as for the well-being and mental peace of other diners!
@Ro – I don’t think you can get away without at least a passing mention of the Moti Mahal escapade! But seriously though, Health & Safety needs to be upped way high. But I wonder when it will be. Tragedies of this sort don’t seem to jolt anyone into action. A couple of years back, a child fell off the railing at Garuda Mall, Bangalore. Nothing earth shattering happened in the way of reforms post that incident.
This was an eyeopener! I wonder if that restaurant is still blase about being on the sixth floor without adequate safety measures for kids. Such places need to be monitored and hauled up if they are flouting rules.
There was a follow-up on TOI – 48 hours after the incident, it was back to normal at the restaurant, save for the cordoned area. That shld tell you something.
Safety, in general, is not one of our major concerns.
Corruption manages to get many people out of sticky situations, and we unfortunately are not eager to be responsible for and responsive to the situations we create.
Yes, restaurants should be child friendly and safe for them.
And yes, parents have to take responsibility for their children.
I wonder when corruption will stop marking every facet of Indian life – at the cost of lives and safety. Ah who am I kidding? The answer is “never”!
Seriously, what the hell were the parents doing???? I hate this universal mentality of parents, where we let our kids run around without supervision and then expect the people around, the organisation to put up boundaries and safety measures to ensure they are unharmed. At the end of the day parents are responsible for their children. I was in Bangalore when the Garuda Mall incident happened-The yawning gap between the railing and floor on the upper floors was a glaring safety lapse. Now, they have put some kind of netting to close the gap and Big signs saying not let the children lean over the balconies or play near the edge.
I don’t find anything wrong in what the staff at Moti Mahal did. Certain restaurants have an ambience and atmosphere they project to diners and diners come there expecting it. They could have been more polite about the whole thing or seated you in a different table right when they noticed you walking in with your children.
I have found it better to carry a few books, portable dvds for my daughter when we go out for lunch. I am not comfortable with a stranger employed by the restaurant looking after my child. And in spite of all this if she still gets agitated and cranky I will leave and I have left friends, family and romantic dinners to check the situation before it becomes worse.
Yes, structural safety measures have to be in place and rules to this effect cannot be compromised. But, ultimately I am responsible for my child.
Well, of course as parents we are responsible for our children and their behavior regardless of where they are. However, I agree with one point that Kiran raised – that restaurants need to engage the younger diners too. Nothing major – at least give them a bunch of crayons and some puzzles, colouring in pictures etc – something that will keep them occupied. Oh yes, and a kid’s menu option that will tickle their taste buds. Throw in an Ice Cream factory type option and then the parents have something to make the kids stay put till pudding-time, right?
[...] Kiran Manral’s guest post brought up the oft-raised in an Indian context [...]
just what i need to read after moving to the 13th floor….
now i’m terrified.
Railings?
The problem is that one restaurant/building/hotel doesn’t learn from another. Despite the incident at Garuda, when I went to Forum mall recently, I realized that there were such places where kids could learn over/climb and fall, and again, no safety net below. It’s like each place only waits for a disaster to befall them.
When it comes to safety, another grouse I have is parents I see on the road, walking on the inside of the footpath, while the kid walks on the side closer to traffic. WTH!
I feel like banging my head against the wall – what will it need for our folks to sit up and take notice?
Written on a day when Arhaan short circuited Mainland China in Dhaka I have to say sometimes you may have eyes (at the back of your head) and on the toddler and the staff might be sweet and supportive but our kids are built to destroy all that lies in their wake..so frankly it has to be takeaways for a while for us (for I dont see any signs of that child friendly kid safe promised land out there)
I am too busy ROFLing to make much sense, Aneela!
Dear Ladies,
It is very unfortunate for me read what you have potrait parents as, i am responsible but we are definitely not from the school where we would leave our child so that we could have our own food & not bother about him.Also the false sense of security at the hotel was in mind.
My child was not a toddler but a smart 7 year old kid,hence he could not be put on a leash,i can call it a fate or not but i will have to live with this all my life
My loss is beyond repairs but atleast you”ll bloggers could take up this issue of safety at such public places & voice your opinions so that another parent does not loose a child due such criminal negligence and not speak on a tangent as we definitely are good parents
Nothing much to say,only thank you for giving it a thought
Capt Paritosh Dube
Capt Dube,
First of all, please accept my sincere condolences for your loss. I am a mum and cannot even imagine the extent of your loss. The main reason behind us exploring this topic was purely to increase the awareness amidst the restauranteurs and improve the safety. I have been writing about the lack of Health & Safety procedures in India for many years. I hope that more and more bloggers take this up and somehow we can amp up the safety for our future generations at least.
Regards
Lavanya
Capt Dube, my deepest condolences on your loss. I agree, safety norms in restaurants are at their very lowest, it is tragic that it takes an incident like this to bring out the fact that such restaurants are not only unsafe, but also unauthorised. What I did comment on is something I have noticed whenever I dine out, parents leaving their kids to run around when theyre done with their meal, and not something personally addressed to you. I am sure you are responsible parents, and once again, my condolences.
Brilliant post Kiran, and loved the comments too. We feel freaked out ourselves after that Garuda Mall incident in Bangalore, and another schoolgirl who fell to her death from the second floor of a school. In the face of safety lapses in public and private spaces…it’s creepy to take our kids out. Paranoia is the only way to survive, which is why we keep the kids firmly by the hand, or at the table, and carry toys and books for their entertainment.
Another lack in most restaurants is the lack of kid-friendly tableware! I’ve given up asking for plastic or steel plates n glasses. So we spend the meal admonishing the kids to keep the glasses away from the edge, and stop banging the plates.
As for apartment buildings these days, with many high-rises, safety grills for windows are not part of the plan. Except for the ground and first floors. I have safety bars on my windows, but my heart is in my mouth when my kids have playdates in friends’ homes, because I can’t trust that their parents are as paranoid as I am
@apu, I have the same grouse myself. Inevitably the kid is walking inches away from the traffic!
I don’t see what was wrong with Moti Mahal’s behavior. When I go out for lunch or dinner I expect to be able to eat my meal without having to hear screaming kids or kids running around. The author has to understand that while it is alright to ask for a toy to keep the kid occupied, it the parents’ responsibility to actually keep the kid occupied. What is needed in India is not child friendly restaurant, but actually baby sitters.
Let me start by putting a disclaimer that I don’t have kids and these views may change once I become a parent. I wholeheartedly agree about the safety aspect but I am not quite sure if the onus is on the restaurants to keep kids occupied with toys, crayons etc. The value proposition of different restaurants varies. As you pointed out, there are some specific kid friendly places, while others may want to offer a different ambiance/experience. I didn’t quite understand why you expect the restaurant to invest in childcare facilities (playroom, child minder etc). Parents can keep the kid occupied with crayons, puzzles and all the other things you spoke about and finally, I understand as a parent you want enjoy a peaceful meal and in that case why not leave the kid home with caretakers. And I agree, that a restaurant may lose business (from parents) if they don’t invest in these extra things, but thats a choice they are free to make, no?
Mansi,
I think you stated the obvious when you started off with “these views may change once I become a parent”. Before I got myself my two, I used to get quite miffed at the sight of kids running around in the restaurants (still do – mostly!) and screaming in public places. But my two have taught me to have a lot of pity for the poor parents who are caught in the middle of a mega meltdown. It doesn’t take much for a restaurant to hand out a colouring-in sheet with a packet of crayons, does it? Since when did “family friendliness” become an unfashionable tag for an eating joint?
I actually agree with Smrithi and Mansi above. A hundred percent!! What India needs is better quality childcare which parents can use in absence of (willing) grandparents or family members to keep an eye on the kids. I don’t think resaurants owe it to anyone to keep their kids occupied for them. Yes, it might be a good business idea because more parents will flock to such places. But then, they might lose the non-parents if the parets still don’t mind their wards and leave them running around. Parents also need to keep a better eye on their kids (not saying this in relation to the incident, just saying this in response to the article itself). And practice better discipline. I am a parent myself and while I AM more tolerant of parents who are facing a meltdown from junior, I have no sympathies for parents who don’t parent and let their kids run free around a restaurant.
Lavanya,
How can i send a few attachments
I sorta disagree. When I read the title.. I was thinking its about high chairs, crayons, kids menu etc.
I have frequented a few places. But I have not heard of staff that comes to entertain kids while adults eat the meal away. Even family friendly ones.
A family meal = Kids + Adults having a meal together or with other friends.
If one wants kids to be entertained while they finish dinners, a mac Donald, a kids play ground place is perfect. Else sitters at home while adults go off for dinner… a date night anyone?
A kid friendly restraunt = high chairs, diaper cahnging station. kid potty, crayons, puzzles for entertaining… and hopefully a kids menu. Not a restraunt bus boy to entertain the brood.
Thats my opinion.
There is one restaurant that I will and do always go back to – Tendulkars.
There is a separate playroom for kids. you can easily walk over often and check on them and your maid can have a bite with the kids there.
I believe Anjali Tendulkar insisted on space for such a room and its a brilliant idea, esp given the expensive real estate in Mumbai
Really? This is the first time I’ve heard of it. Thanks for the info, Varsha!