Well no one can come up with a more outraged squawk than the Mad Momma but as she has implored us desi bloggers in merrie England to not take it lying down, well, how can I ignore the invitation?
What am I blathering about? This – the Communities Secretary Hazel Blears’ ‘Immigration pack’ that is inform an immigrant how to behave on landing on British shores. Simple things like don’t go touching the nice woman at the tube station, put the trash out, spit in the street or *gasp* play loud music. Why? Coz the locals are doing enough of it and please don’t add to the mayhem, there’s a good chap.
I think someone should tell this to my neighbour opposite. He seems to think that every Saturday comes around purely for him to test the strength of the concrete blocks our buildings are made of and proceeds to spend most of the night pitting some high decibels at it. Or the rest of the idiots who cannot read the words that say ‘please do not dump your cycles and old washing machines here – that’s what the Council’s £30 collection facility is for’ and proceed to happily chuck any old crap in the bin area, which means I get the bill!
Drinking and driving? How dare you, you pathetic immigrant? How dare you entertain that notion! Take the train and go to any of the bars in Romford or Basildon instead, where the delightful chavs would give you more than your money’s worth by puking copious amounts of beer and other assorted gunk and round off the show by showing their tits.
I am so tired of reading everywhere of the Brits who have thrown opened their doors and are knitting out ‘Welcome’ sweaters for every immigrant foisted on them. Why the hell have I been spat at and told home on a regular basis? And what about the snooty sales women who are all nicety-nice spreading sunshine and cheer all around but clam up and give Mt Rushmore a run for its money the minute they see my mug? Or – this is one of my favourites – how about the chemist down the road who paid no heed to me when I stood outside her door in the cold for 30 frigging minutes, wondering when she will open up, only to find her outside explaining to the first white person that came round that as the pharmacist wasn’t in, she cannot prescribe medicine and so sorry and all that – and finished off with a sneer in my direction? Sadly lacking in the spirit, wouldn’t you say?
Yeah give us behavioural packs all you want, sweetie, but let’s stop pretending we are housing paragons of virtue here. The number of louts and ‘lads behaving badly’ that you see around the Town centres and High Streets come weekend have to be seen to be believed. Immigrants like us pay more in tax than idiots like that lush Holly, now seen on Ladette to a Lady, who proudly says she spends her dole money getting trashed every weekend and behaving like nothing human can possibly can. Getting sozzled on every occasion and showing her knickers to all and sundry, well if she remembers to wear them in the first place, are all such sterling behavioural examples, ain’t it?
Whilst I am not claiming that all Indians are gold medal winners when it comes to behaving well or that every single Brit is an ill-mannered lout , I am offended that this sort of pack can be handed out to people and one expects us to be what? happy? If that isn’t smug and patronising, I do not know what is!
muah. sock it to them! linking you up.
Thanks babe! I have got some interesting comments so far from folks who wandered this way from yours.
[...] to add: Here’s Desi Girl protesting too. [...]
Came here from Mad Momma’s blog. What a post!! It IS outrageous but you have written well. I wish you could get it published in a national daily or something!
Ha ha! Thank you, kindly!! Getting it published might mean not passing Go and not collecting £200 but heading directly back to whence I came!!
Some days I wonder whether politicians actually live on the same planet as me. And some of the experiences through my work and the relations my colleagues & I have with them seem to confirm they don’t. But I digress a little.
Sure, have a handbook and guide about ‘Britishness’, but make it practical, not patronising and irrelevant. “Welcome to Britain. Now play nice and give us all your money. Oh, and about those jobs we’re all too proud to do – any chance you could do them for us? Just try not to make it look as though you’ve stolen them from a ‘real’ British person, though, there’s a good chap.”
I find it hard to take seriously those who complain about immigrants ‘diluting our culture’. What culture? We’ve diluted it enough already. We’re a country filled with people who worship football, idolise celebrities (most of whom are famous only for being on some reality TV show for 5 minutes – it’s not even the 15 minutes of fame any more), listen to manufactured music, live to shop and go out to ‘have a good time’. Which generally means getting so drunk you can’t remember how good a time you had (I’ll admit to a couple of lost nights in my early 20s, but that’s all!).
We want to impose ourselves – Oh Great Britannia, how you’ve lost your way now you have no one but yourself to rule – but we need to get over it and realise that ours is not the only way of doing things, and that actually, we can learn a lot from who others live.
Sorry for such a lengthy ramble there.
Jo, Jo, you seem to be a girl after my own heart! I was nodding my head to every word of yours. You go, girl! Unf, you must be in a vanishing minority, more’s the pity!
Well socked. I suppose soccer hooligans are ‘immigrants’ and not locals? Or is their behaviour somehow excusable because they are locals while the same wouldn’t be tolerated in immigrants?
Kinda started off a chain of thought about the whole ‘bhajji’ incident down in Oz recently, and how the ozzie cricket team was really ticked off at being sledged while it was ok for them to start off the lovely practice of sledging in the first place…
Soccer hooliganism is practically like a citizenship test, isn’t it? Unless you can guzzle down gallons of beer, dance around the joint semi-naked and turn the air blue swearing, you cannot be a soccer fan!! I wonder how those soccer fans would feel if they were handed out ‘How to Behave Whilst In Our Country’ where ever they go to support their team! Now there’s an idea for you!
didn’t they use to have something back in the 60s that was even worse? like some guy on TV teaching immigrants how to be british?
Really? Wouldn’t put anything pass these folks!
I never stayed outside India, and so I cannot talk about the behavior the firangs show in their own country, but I do know of what you are talking about.. its irritating to see them being treated as first class citizens in our country, all for their fair skin and high value currency!
Btw, came here via MadMommas..