Swings & Roundabouts

The Mad Momma showed me just how much of a sweetie she is by giving me this award:

awww, thanks babe! *misty eyed*

and I shall proudly wear it! She says I’ve earned it by proving I am no cool, hep chick that she mistook me for. Hmph! If it makes you happy…

Is this some sort of a rolling badge? If it is, then I shall contemplate on who to roll it to post exam. Till then, I shall preen!

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Question: What do you call someone who wanks off looking at pictures of children?

Easy answer, right? Maybe that point struck this blogger AFTER he posted the following piece of text.

Puke of the Day
December 4th, 2007
Someone must tell this woman. That, the probability of a random set of verbs, nouns, adjectives and gerunds magically falling in perfect order to form a ‘meaningful’ sentence is 10^(-78).

Else, one could just tell her — I masturbated looking at your kid’s photo. Thanks.

In case anyone missed that great line, here it is again: I masturbated looking at your kid’s photo.

The ‘kid‘ in question is barely three! How sick can you be? Deleting such offensive text isn’t enough – people who spew such crap just because they can deserve some seriously harsh punishment.

What’s the latest punishment due to someone who’s attracted to young children?

Britain is all caught up with the news of teacher Gillian Gibbons being thrown into jail in Sudan, facing a 15-day jail term followed by deportation. At one point, it was reported that she might be looking at the business end of a whip – 40 times. Her crime? Letting her class of 7 year olds name their class teddy bear ‘Mohammad’. All over the country loud, disbelieving gasps can be heard, accompanied by the typical ‘they must be joking, surely!’ Foreign Office is scrabbling about trying to stop the Sudanese government from lashing out on the poor bewildered woman.

One of the guys in my course even made fun of it the other day. That made me think – they don’t get it, do they?

While it is tragic that the poor lady has been thrown in jail, laughing about it or passing disparaging comments about the attitude of ‘those people’ doesn’t help matters. Much as the British might see it as nothing short of ridiculous to get het up by something so trivial, the matter couldn’t be more serious to the other party. If one looks at it from the Sudanese government’s point of view, the teacher has committed a blasphemy, by naming a teddy bear after the Prophet. So, in their minds, she deserves to be punished. In fact, had it been a Sudanese citizen who had committed this act, retribution would have been swift.

This is not the first time the West has been caught with its foot caught in a religious quagmire. A few year’s back, an enterprising outfit in America called Sitting Pretty released a range of toilet seats named, ‘Sacred Seats’. The collection carried images of Lord Ganesha and Goddess Kali in glorious technicolour. Retailing for a whopping sum of $130, the line was augmented by such compelling prose such as this:

“Ganesha the Hindu elephant god, removes all obstacles, destroys evil and provides you with protection on your journey.”

Say goodbye to constipated bowels! Taking the dump and prayers at one go – what more could a harried Hindu want?

Of course, the Hindu community got into a major uproar and the line was withdrawn. A while later, a San Francisco company released ‘designer footwear’ carrying images of, you guessed it, Ganesha and assorted members of his illustrious family. Outraged squawks from all quarters made sure the shoes weren’t released into the general market. Despite this, flip-flops and Hindu gods were once again merged in 2003 by American Eagle Outfitters and the result was pretty much the same . Then there was this French shoe manufacturer who put pictures of Rama onto shoe fronts.

Why would someone do it? While one can arrive at a whole lot of answers, what it all boils down to is that the people behind these never realised (or cared enough to realise) what these images represent and what kind of sentiment they carry for the millions of Hindus around the world. Unfortunately enough, no one seemed to understand the reason behind the furore caused by these incidents so that the circumstances need never be repeated again.

What do all this have to do with this divorced teacher and her impending, frightening future in Sudan? Personally, nothing. She merely went with her students’ wishes, the papers say – after all, why wouldn’t she let them name their toy? That she did not understand the weight the name Mohammad carries and therein lay her misfortune.

The teacher’s inadvertent error just reiterates the fact that it is high time the Western countries start taking into account other cultures, customs and religions. It is that classic rule “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” To this, one more statement could be added: “do not judge everyone or everything by your standards”.

Does the teacher deserve what she gets? No, no, emphatically no. Do the general Western populace need an education on what goes and what doesn’t, with respect to the world’s religions? A definite yes.

Cos my pal Ams gave me this:

That so rocks or what? Gosh Ams, you are such a star! Thanks a bunch babes *mwah*

So, am I to pass this on to other deserving folk eh? Right. How am I to do that when you go and pass it on to six peeps, thereby taking my three as well? *mutter*

Ok, I shall cheat a bit and start with Apu – other than being one of my oldest, real world pal, this girl sure knows what she’s talking about, virtually. So, here’s to you, girlie – in both the real and virtual sense of it.

Next, I shall give it to one of my favourite gal bloggers (other than you, Ams! ) Premalatha. This is one gutsy lady and she sure deserves the tag.

My third pick is my other fave mummy blogger, Tharini. She is such a heartwarmingly steady and calm soul, despite having two kids under five that I am forever in awe of her.

My fourth and fifth picks are my two favourite food bloggers – Nandita of Saffron Trail and Indira of Mahanandi. Their blogs are a foodie’s dream and if I can do a J K Rowling and bring the pix of their food to life, I will die a happy and sated death.

How can I compile a list of rocking gal bloggers and leave you out, Ams? So, right back at ya!

How much can you know someone by reading their words, their thoughts, their feelings? Quite a lot, I reckon. That being so, I have been a regular visitor of the Mad Momma’s blog for the past month or so (has it only been that long?!) and already the MM, OA, the Brat and Baby Bean have become an intricate part of my blogging life. I need my daily fix of what’s going on in her hectic world and with Baby Bean’s immnient arrival, the MM’s detailed posts are keeping me as involved in the events as if I were a close mate living next door.

So, the concept of an online baby shower doesn’t seem that far fetched and silly. (Even if it does, who cares?) So, here I am MM, joining your baby shower, armed with some great tulips for you and some gifts for my future DIL.
Why don’t you kick back and open your presents?

And why don’t you have some lovely chocs, whilst cooing over these lovely clothes?

Wish you a speedy C-sec and a speedier recovery. We will all be waiting eagerly to see the baby’s pics.

I’ve lost all respect for the Desipundit website now. Ever since its Chief, Vulturo made remarks like ‘not Madrasi chicks – ewww’, I have made up my mind not to patronise the site he’s incharge of anymore. I do know that there are loads of others on the panel of the website but if this is the way the chief speaks, what about all the Indians then? Being a Madrasi chick myself, I feel like I should make a stand. Not that one person staying away is going to put any serious dent to the popularity of their massive fan base but what the heck, I do not trust them or anything they say anymore. He prattled something about how he isn’t a racist as Madrasis or not a race per se and that is so inane, I do not want to elaborate on it.

It was at that moment of time that I was so proud to be a Desicritic – maybe we are not half so well known as the Pundits but hey, there’s no way Aaman Lamba would ever be caught dead uttering such words. Not too sure Dee would have let him breathe, even if he had! So I am real glad with my lot.

While I am at it, I might as well go all out and admit that I find their nominations for couple of categories for the Indibloggers award real suss. I mean, who’s on the panel? At least three of the jury are directly or indirectly connected to the site. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(Okay, okay when I have gone off something, I make no bones about it, I admit!)

Whoever came up with this cyber tagging, I wanna know? Kishore tells me that he has tagged me and what’s more, is gonna put some wacko questions to me that I have to answer. *sigh*

The ‘theme’ is ‘me me meme’ and here I go!

I am thinking about… how best to avoid the day of chores that awaits me and lounge with my new Nora Roberts instead!

I said… let me be, but no one’s listening!

I want to… break free! I want to breeaaak frrreee!

I wish… I could get the hooks and shooks sorted and my novel starts flowing freely.

I hear… thunder, I hear thunder, hark don’t you?

I wonder… at the miracle of Nature.

I regret… the lost opportunities.

I am… what I am and what I am needs no excuses!

I dance… the merry dance of life!

I sing… in my mind, in the loo, in privacy – for the good of all mankind!

I cry… when I am hurt, when I am moved by a good book or like Kishore, while chopping onions!

I am not always… a nice person!

I make with my hands… some of the world’s greatest artworks. Pity they are visible only to folks blessed with X-ray vision!

I write… cos it makes me happy.

I confuse… acquaintances with friends.

I need… the space to be just me.

And finally… Apu, Saks, Sowmya, Qalander and everyone else who has read this – you’re tagged!

Dedicated to my fellow (disgruntled) DC writers in recognition of their literary efforts.

A phrase used by our own temporal in response to one of my comments stuck in my mind – paper tigers. This was with reference to all those ‘critics’ who jump on a blog author’s throat no matter what the blog is about and generally do a ‘Mexican three bean dance’ (another one of t’s gems!) over the tiniest issue. No matter if the issue in question is a random innocent remark – it would still get jumped on by these paper tigers like vultures on carcass.

That set me thinking. Why? Why would you rip the throat of a nameless, faceless stranger who’s just sharing some blog space with you over anything? Why such intense, strong reactions, such caustic attacks? Would you behave the same way face to face?

The answer, simply, is no.

Face to face, you are forced to put on a mantle of civil respectability and manners, and behave like a civilised human being – not like a gorilla on Speed. But from the safety of your own home, hiding behind the anonymity of the computer, one sort of breaks free of the shackles of society-imposed propriety and lets loose the inner animal.

The first time I came under a direct attack, (well, as direct as one can get in cyber space!) I was taken aback! Such vehemence, such venom – not what you expect in response to an opinion you have expressed, surely! But after the first couple (of hundred) of insults and random attacks, I got used to it – in fact, have even come to expect it! It’s a sad, sad situation and its getting more n more absurd.

How do you identify a paper tiger?

By its growl. No, this is not a PJ but pure fact. These paper tigers cannot but help growling – they do so freely, without any qualm, at every single thing that might or might not come their way. They also are a lot more vehement than the average Joe. Rather free too, with curses and swear words.

They come in all shapes and forms – some of them are part-time doctors (“DesiGirl, better take your Ritalin”), while others are a bit confused on the gender issue (“NYMOM uncle or auntie”; “Desigirl uncle or auntie”). Some of them are blessed with Sight (“watch out! Once 498a becomes a reality, then pop goes the weasel”). But all of them share one common trait – complete and utter inability to follow the plot. Navigators they ain’t, coz they are prone to go off on a tangent, far and away from where the post in leading.

So, what next?

Well, you can deal with this in couple of different ways – the most sensible of these would be to just ignore them and carry on as normal. Easier said than done, I know. When you have bashed your head against the wall, trying to turn out a post that means something to you, it cannot be exactly soothing to your soul to find that a few paper tigers have come and made mincemeat of it in your absense.

That’s when you go with option 2: counter-attack. Nothing is more satisfying than this, I should say. I know it is not as sensible as turning the other cheek – but sometimes, this sane action can get interpreted as cowardice and cause much jubliation in the tigers’ midst, which in turn makes them even more rampant. Going on the warpath might just dispel this feeling of euphoria amongst the tigers.

Option three is a version of option 1 – to try and see the funny side of it. Again, easier said than done, I know! But this makes sure your blood pressure doesn’t shoot up or you end up chucking your PC in the bin. At times like this, friends come in handy – Saks and t came to my rescue recently by composing songs / poems and cracked me up, thereby forcing me to stop seeing red.

All in all, these tigers are part of our fauna – deal with them, we have to. Funny part of all this is that some of these tigers profess to help those in despair from killing themselves or doing something else equally extreme, in their regular guise – what they fail to see is that, in the meanwhile, in cyberspace, the land of the brave and home of the free, they are driving us poor souls to therapy!