A few of my lovely mates have been asking me about my course and its progress. I’ve got to tell you and everyone else, that after Week 3, I am seriously doubting my sanity.
By that, I don’t mean the good folk at the uni are to be avoided and even as I type, are measuring me up for my custom-made strait-jackets. The course content is really interesting and as the weeks go on, increasingly challenging. I would now love to plant myself a well-aimed kick on my backside for carelessly commenting after day 1, session 1: “Ooh, that was a bit too basic, wasn’t it? Not at all like Master’s level!”
The modules are all designed in such a way that they sort of bleed into one another and that is mightly helpful. The different coursework we have been given are going to test my mettle to the full. So why am I sounding like someone who’s rapidly forgetting her lines with 2 seconds to air time?
Remember what I said about day 1, session 1? Well, I scored 5.0 / 10.0 in the quiz for that session. That kind of made me sit up and take notice. Then came the news about the next quiz and how it ain’t no cakewalk. As the topic was something basic as Internet and WWW, one I thought I could ace in drugged stupor, I am now doing a serious re-think. A call to battlestations. Then, to top it all up, I decided to follow session 3 from home yesterday. I went to class today to find everyone discussing the previous day’s stuff in Greek.
This morning’s lab session kind of brought everything to the surface. I hate not being good at anything and *have* to be on top of things. And the one way I know how to is to slowly pick apart a problem, bit by bit, till it unravels in my hands. This was how I learnt HTML, web pages building, content writing, blogging, the whole lot. This morning, though the set task was eminently doable, especially considering the helpful hints sprinkled generously by the lecturer, it still made me sweat. The lab was real warm but that wasn’t the main reason.
After the first read, I had a distinct feeling I had just read a chapter of Valmiki Ramayana. It took a good few reads before the text miraculously altered to become English. Then by my trusted method of trial-and-error, I slowly built the damn thing, bit by bit – a raging sinusitis and PMS didn’t help one bit. Along the way, I learnt some shortcuts and easier ways of doing the same thing. Pleased me no end, I tell you, as it meant I was finally getting this. Hallelujah!
So why am I tap-tapping my life away, a la MM? Cos I am freaking scared, that’s why! I am worried I have bitten off more than I can chew. I am worried that I am slowly going to find myself getting in well over my head and I will be up shit creek without a paddle (sorry to be mixing metaphors!). I am mildly-OCD in this aspect that if things are not in MY control, I get a major dose of the jitters. Added to the fact that I cannot – don’t know how to – ask for help. Well, without sounding like a prat, that is.
So why in hell’s name did I have to rock the boat? Why didn’t I just leave things be? I could have stayed put at my easy job and not worried about the DITAs and betas of the world. Well, my job was all that – easy. A bit too easy. So when I got itchy feet, I decided to take it and the rest of me in the opposite direction – where I can no longer skate through life but would have to do some serious slogging. Which has brought about the jeebies.
Jeez!
DG- I do not think that you should feel jittery about your decision. “I hate not being good at anything and *have* to be on top of things.”-This one line itself shows your determination to excel come what may. I am sure you are going to come out tops! All the best.
aww thanks, Lavs! I need all the luck I can get!!
DG, you will be alright. Do not worry. give me a shout if you need anything.
BTW, RSS feed in my bloglines was srewing up I think. I thought you have not been blogging for sometime. I just have found out that I need to catch up with your posts.
Those RSS feeds, I tell you…. I think they are in a conspiracy with BlogStats and AdSense. jeez!!
Thanks for the luck. Hopefully I’d get used to the grind soon. sigh Pregnancy was a doddle compared to this!!